she was my supervisor's supervisor (over the summer) and had hardly had any interaction with me. yet she saw me couple of days ago and commented that my English has improved a lot since last summer! AND she insisted it was a compliment. -.-
knowing me, i was never good at retorting at that very instance when things like these happen, so i didn't say anything to her other than "right, (i guess i should say) thank you." later on as i thought bout it more, i was quite pissed (at myself) for not telling her off, or at least saying something back to her. tried to think from her POV if it's even slightly justified for her to say a thing like that. so this is what i came up with.
one. she could be having her PMS and decided to be mean to someone, so she took it out on me.
two. she forgot that the only times she spoke to me over the whole summer were only the hi's bye's howareyou's and goodthankyouwhataboutyou's and so she assumed that my vocab were limited to those words, which led to her remark that my english has improved oh-so dramatically.
three. she subconsciously has the racial stereotypes ingrained in her so deeply that when she said that she didn't realize it was rather a racist remark - to think that all asians/international students can't speak english.
four. she's jealous for the fact that she's twice my size and she knows that she will never slim down when she can't stop eating lasagne and fries and drink sodas. so she decided to make me feel terrible. :P
five. she's envious of my black long hair and that she looks so... blonde with her blond hair. so she decided to be bitchy. she must be disappointed that i didn't retort and start a bitch-fight. haha.
no, of course not. i'm just kidding. i'm not so conceited. :P she's just one of those americans, who's either very ignorant about other cultures and has all the stereotypes about them. or, she's just an arrogant person who's plainly looking down at me.
this was on my mind for some days now. i keep thinking about why she'd say a thing like that. i wanna say it's because she had no idea that asians in general are brought up to keep silence rather than speak up, and that they have a more timid nature. so she assumed it must be the language barrier. or it really could've just been her thinking that because i'm a foreigner i can't speak proper english, and that's all there is to that. but above all, i wanna point a finger at her and call her a racist and accuse her for saying that because and only because i'm yellow. but then, who am i to say that? aren't i, at this very moment, as i call her that, just as racist as she (supposedly) is? because it takes one to know one, no?
i'm perplexed. don't wanna think anymore. ok going to do my lab report. tell me what you think?
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