Dot, Line, Dot, Line

Remember back in the days when we were thrown a coloring book with dots and were told to join the dots which are in numerical order? I've always liked doing that. Isn't it so much fun?! :) Haha and that was one of the rare times when I wasn't being watched so closely if I was using my left or right hand. Urghh don't get me started on that! So I secretly used left hand to color. :) Which somehow gave me a sense of truimph. Over what, I don't exactly know, but I guess that's the only way I could've done then to rebel against mum's iron will to make me a right-hander. Take that, mum! :P Haha but that was then, now it's cool. :)

Last year I made a resolution to know myself better, to recognize my strengths and weaknesses - because I've always been one who's rather unsure of self, skeptical of my capabilities, and... just unable to name even a few good things about myself (and actually believe 'em). But I didn't resolve that. So I'm gonna try doing it now.

So here goes... A list of traits I know of about myself:
- Always procrastinating. Hopeless.
- Always finding fault in myself, I swear sometimes those are the only things I see in myself.
- Suffer the inferiority attack a little too often, usually self-inflicted.
- Worry a tad too much about the future.
- Organized, borderline OCD.
- Fickle-minded. Even when it comes to food. Food!!! go figure.
- Anti-social, by choice initially, and now it's becoming habitual (which I'm trying to prevent).
- A planner by nature, I just like to plan things ahead, to know what's gonna happen next.
- But! 85% of the time never followed through the plans I made. Blehh. :/
- Too visual, too imaginative for my own good.
- Subconscious remorse for never really exploring the artistic side in me (on the contrary has always tried to suppress it).
- Honest and truthful, can be a little too blunt at times.
- Independent, adaptive to new environments.
- Mastered the art of masking my emotions (sometimes for self-defense or self protection, other times for the ego).
- Reliable, trustworthy.
- Insightful, yet can be quite gullible at times.

I can think of a million other inadequacies in me, but I'm sure you don't wanna know them. And plus that's not such a good way to start my new year. So that should be enough, for now. Continue to fight the devil in me, I will.... :)