Two K Ten

I wonder how much weight I've put over the past month or so. Whatever it is, it's a number I don't wanna know. This year it's all about being pragmatic. On my list of new year's resolutions, you won't find anything about losing weight to x kg. This year I shall keep it simple. In fact, it's even simpler than last year's. It's so simple I'd rather just remember them than to put them down in words. They say if you make public of your intentions to do certain things, chances are you probably won't see them through - because blogging about them or relaying to others would seem as if you're already half-way there. You then cut yourself some slack and you lose focus thus fail to realize them. I'm a walking example of that saying. So this year, I'm just gonna keep them to myself. We'll see if I have accomplished any of them at the end of the year.

So it's 2010 eh. I look around and find myself still standing at the same spot I was last year - which is, in short, not where I wanna be. There's a thousand thoughts zooming past each other in my head, and I don't know which to focus on first. Have I done anything that I've regretted? Yes, of course. Would I have done things differently if I get to go back in time? Probably, but since turning back time is impossible (as far as I'm aware of), I'd rather not dwell on this. Have I done my best in working towards my goal? No. I probably could have been more efficient, more disciplined, less emotional. Alas, the lack of planning and foresightedness is a costly mistake, and I'm paying for it now. Luckily for me, it's still not too late to fix things, so hopefully this year things will get better.

Last year was sprinkled with many little joys and series of miserable moments. Some stretched longer than the others. But mostly, 2009 has been blurry for me. It passed by so quick I barely noticed anything. It felt like it was only yesterday that Obama gave his inauguration speech. It felt like it was just not too long ago that I called my friends in other parts of the world (whose birthdays fall on January) to wish them happy birthday. Felt as if it was just a while back when I still lived in Santa Ana with my landlady, who cooked for me every day. I do miss her sometimes, and I know I lived a more comfortable life with her pampering me with all her cooking. But that's also one of the reasons I moved out - to get out of the complacency that is slowly but surely eroding my goals. So I put myself in this slightly uncomfortable living situation as a reminder that this is really just temporary. (It better be!) I need to get out of here asap.

In half an hour's time, I'll be off to work; and my classes commence in two days. This year, I wish for a peaceful year, and that whatever happens I hope I'm a step closer to achieving my dreams.