Chicken Little, Little Chicken

I can still remember 14 years ago the night he was born, when we all went to the hospital excited to welcome our little baby into the family. He's so tiny, and dark. So dark that we secretly contemplated the possibility of the nurse exchanging our lil brother with someone else's son for money. That was in '93. When my grandma, mom, Kan Lun and I were crazy over this chinese drama series that we rented from the videoshop (back in the days when VCRs were the "hot stuff"; vcds dvds internet tv, what??!). And so when we see him, being dark, and tiny, with the typical chinese sepet eyes, Kan Lun commented that this little guy who just popped out from mom's womb with blood and placenta and all that gross gooey stuff *eeew* (and here I'm talking as if I didn't come out the same way, stupid) looked so much like an antagonist in that drama. Doesn't seem so funny now, but at that time it was hilarious to all of us.. XD

He's born in the year of Rooster. And he talks non stop, it's kinda irritating at times. That's how the nickname "chicken backside" came around. Oh if I have to talk about him it's gonna take years. But that's not the whole point of this post.

The point is, my lil bro, he got accepted into Catholic High in Spore. Yeah he was offered the ASEAN scholarship. My lil bro!! So proud of him, I really am! I wanted to throw him a party with all the balloons and confettis and paper hats streamers etc. wishing him all the best and congratulate him. I wanna give him the biggest tightest bearhug ever.. I wanna tell him I'm so very proud of him and remind him not to be too kiasu when he got there. Nor one of the arrogant know-it-all's. Yet this is the only thing I could do right now - blog about it. cuz I'm 10,000 miles away from home and him... :(

Which, inevitably, made me feel a little sad. Realized I missed a huge chunk of his life, with me away from home for so many years and all that. And now, now he's leaving home. Time is ruthless. It doesn't take pity on us who wished it could slow down half a tempo so that we could catch up with it, with life. No, it just moves on, ever so swiftly that it often left us gaping at whatever surprises Life is throwing at us. Helpless. Like the goldfish in a fish bowl. Gaping. With its mouth wide open, eyes so huge they look as if they could pop out anytime.

I wonder how it's gonna be. How he'd turn out to be, to leave home at 14. How Spore culture will shape him. Will he think like one of the Singaporeans? Talk like them, all the 'Singlish'? (Oh god, please don't.) Practice Christianity? Decide to migrate and settle down there? Not that any of those are bad. Am just wondering. And what will my parents do after he's gone? My mom especially. She wouldn't have to bring him to school, tuitions and activities anymore. Dad wouldn't have anyone to nag anymore. Will they cope with the quiet life by filling their lives with activities they've always wanted to do but never got to them cuz of us? Will they miss him more than he'll miss home? Will they suddenly realize they didn't know each other that well and have to get to know each other all over again? Is it gonna have a positive or negative effect on them?

All these. I wonder. And okay I admit, I worry a little too. Hope everything will be fine. Suddenly I wished I was back home, having coffee time with mom and dad. What dreams, what glam life, what ambitions I wanna achieve, they don't seem to matter if I know my parents are lonely or unhappy. I can give up all my dreams in less than one millisecond, if it means bringing smiles and comfort into their lives.

Because, simply because I owe my life to them. :)

But back to the topic, as I was saying, congrats, lil bro. Keep me updated, keep your cool, don't let it get into your head and become a snob. All the best!! :) We (me and gor) love you!