Bundled in my soft pink-red-orange blanket, I curled up under my desk, switched off the light in my room leaving the orange night-light on, and sat there in silence, with a cuppa hot chocolate in my hands. Once in a while, everyone needs to observe a moment of silence in their most comfortable position. And that happened to be mine.. for tonight.
Almost the end of August, yet it felt like summer break has barely begun. 'twas so relaxing i felt i didn't accomplish much throughout the summer. met lots of new people, good friends even; got to know more bout some of them; grew closer to some of whom i knew for quite a long time; watched tonnes of movies i barely had time to digest; read a few good books; did some outdoor activities; cooked lunches and dinners for friends. seemed like it's been a full summer yet somehow it lacked a little something. it's fun alright.. yet it never lasted long enough or felt as if its complete. not sure if i make any sense when i'm not even sure what i'm looking for. it could be that the mind is playing tricks. after all, it's always the unknown that's most intriguing, and because of that we're always looking for answers.
this summer was meant to be an enriching one, one that let me rest my inner self, clear my head off the stuff that's bothering me, learn more. which explains why i spent a fair amount of time alone. even though i'm not doing much, even if i was just sitting in front of the idiot box or staring into nothingness, it gives me peace. not that i wanna be anti-social or anything... i'm just more of an introvert in nature. doesn't mean i don't like to be around people, or that i'm incapable of being cheerful or bubbly. it all depends on the timing, place, and people. used to hate feeling unsure about things; bout anything. but this summer i learned how to be afloat... in thoughts, not heading anywhere specifically yet able to be comfortable. it's okay to not know. it's okay to not be sure or understand what's going on sometimes. :)
and so ended my moment of silence. there's so much to say, yet could be summarized in silence. maybe one day i'll dissect each and every one of my thought and put them down. but that's all for now.. shall get some rest. heh.
2 comments:
totally agree! maybe it's part of growing up and being away fr home... who knows? but when u said tht u're an "introvert", i thought to myself, hey, i'm like tht too, although i din think i used to be like tht, and most certainly i dun remember u being this way. but now, i enjoy silence. moments of peace. moments to urself. and if a fren's thr to share this moment of silent contemplation, by all means, he/she is most welcome to join me in solitude. so, wat say u if we were to spend an afternoon in borders, reading our books, enjoying each other's company over a cuppa while we exchange interesting quips from the passages once in a while? i dunno bout u, but sometimes, i do feel like this ;>
hahha right you are! i think i used to be more outgoing n hyper back in the days..heh :P but yeahhhh im so totally there to spend an afternoon with u in borders with books and coffee!! (the other day i was just thinking to self tht its a bit sad there are so few ppl who'd appreciate this kinda quiet afternoon with me over here..) ahh well. i shall wait for u to come!!! cant wait! ;)
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