It Doesn't Wait for You

I'm talking about no trains, or classes or exams. Though indeed, they all don't wait for you - in the context of time. Time. Such an abstract concept. That would be another topic saved for another occasion. Don't feel like venturing into the metaphysical world tonight.

But tonight I can't help but feeling so .... . am leaving it blank because I can't think of any word to describe what I'm feeling right now. Doubt I know it myself too.. If there's an auto-detector that connects to my brain, bet it'd be blinking "Unidentified"... or worse, the whole machine would just break down, setting the out-of-order alarm off. After all, it's only a machine. How can it detect a person's emotion?! ....

Truth be told I felt a lot of things. So many that I can't pick which one to write about. I'm a control freak, a neat freak, and am obsessed about a lot of things. Details. I pay a lot of attention on details. And "a lot" is an understatement. And I'm an expert at picking out my faults, flaws. But who doesn't?! only perhaps not to the extent as I do. Thank god I'm not a masochist, else you'd think my parents abused me or something.

And I feel like bitch-slapping myself. Hmmm maybe Roy could help me out. :P What the toot's the matter with me.... something went wrong somewhere.. really wrong. It's like somewhere in my brain one or few of the wires got cross-lined, and the Mastermind behind it all is laughing at me, thinking "muahahahhaha good luck figuring it out you dumb ass!"

Have had the urge of smoking a couple of times before due to frustration, but never that of drinking. Yet lately the urge to drink keeps coming to me. Strange. so far haven't succumbed to it yet, but you never know. and if I do, I'd be careful to not disclose too much. I don't wanna get sued for it or something. Nowadays people keep getting sued for the most outrageous reasons, better be careful. :P

Maybe some hot chocolate and cookies is the very thing that I need to cheer me up and make me forget all those stupid unimportant teeny details of life. But! I can't. In a strict diet right now in the effort to lose 5 pounds in 2 weeks. Impossible? Hmm maybe. But worth a try nonetheless. :) Be happy, people! Don't be like me! (felt that the last statement is the wisest thing I've written throughout the whole post heh.)