How are we supposed to know?

Ah yes, I haven't been updating bout my life here recently eh. Sorry bout that. It's just that I have nothing in particular I wanna talk about. Or, stuff that I wanna talk about aint appropriate to talk about here. At least not now.

Lately I've been thinking. You know how when we were young we were asked, "So what do you wanna be when you grow up?" And the kids seem to never have trouble finding answers. And you might just think, ahh well they're still young they dont really know what they want. On the contrary, I marvel at the fact that they can tell you in a split second what they want to be. It comes out so naturally, so smoothly, as if they've always known it all along. I mean, who's to say that's not what they really want or they don't really know exactly what they're talking about?? Just because they're younger and less exposed to the world doesnt give us the right to dismiss their desires and ability to make a decision right?!

But then, as we grow older, we're exposed to different things, and very often we got lost in a myriad of choices, so abundant that we because unclear of what we really want. Or for certain reasons, we forgot how to listen to our heart's desires anymore. What are we to do then? How are we supposed to know what we REALLY want? How can we be sure of it? How do we search for answers and be certain that's the right one?

I know these questions cant really be answered, cuz there are no definite answers to them. Chean told me, "You dont question what you want. you just WANT. and it doesnt need a logical explanation or justification. tht's why it's called desires." She has a point. I know I dont wanna waste my whole life thinking what I really want when I can do so much more. But in spite of wanting to know what I really want, I still dont know what I want! Does it make any sense?

Hahah. I find the previous sentence hilarious. And dumb. Ironic. I dont wanna talk to people cuz I know I'll be influenced in making my decision. This time I've gotta do it by myself, for myself. I just gotta find a way to do so...