Coughing post

Couldn't sleep the whole night because of the bloody cough. So I figured I might as well get up from bed, lying down just makes me feel sicker. Then, a sudden thought hit me - I once had a totally different life than this. What would've happened if I didn't take that enormous life-changing step?

The truth is, I never let myself strayed down on this train of thought much, because I'm afraid I'd imagined a life nicer than the one I'm living now. Like they say, the grass is always greener than the other side. I've never admitted this to myself let alone anyone else, but I guess I can't run away from it forever, hence me writing bout it now.

So let's see. If I didn't quit,

1. I'd be on my way to be a doc, a childhood dream of mine since as long as I can remember, with 2 and a half years to go.
2. I'd never have known a lot of ppl (which I'm not sure whether it's a bad thg or not).
3. I'd make my dad proud instead of a disappointment to him.
4. I'd speak better Russian than English by the end of 6 yrs, I reckon. That, or, I'd speak bad Russian and English.

But then again, because I made that decision,

1. I have a chance to get to know my old friends even better than before; I get to spend more quality time with them too.
2. I get to know my bros more, spend more time with them, and my parents too. The time spent with them, it's somethg I couldn't exchange with anythg else in the world.
3. I have a more colorful life, I think. And I get to learn French.
4. On the low end, I'm more confused than ever, for I have no idea what to expect in my future. Too much choices ain't a good thing sometimes.

At times I can't help but think, am I a quitter? Truth is, if I allow myself to dwell in the past, I'm confident I can think of an endless list of reasons of what a big mistake I've done and torture myself indefinitely. Which will only make me miss out too much in life not living the present.
I may be predictable. I may always be on the safe side and rarely take any big adventurous risks. But that's my way of living. As long as I'm happy eh.