the cursor on my word document is blinking once every 1.13 seconds, and has been at the same position for the longest time. i can't produce anything substantial. every sentence i wrote only lasted at most a few minutes before i hit 'backspace'. last year it took me weeks to write an entire essay that i was somewhat satisfied with. but after 360 days or so, the essay seemed almost like a joke to me. now that i read it, my application probably would've ended up in the reject pile if i'd have submitted it in.
at times like these, i need a place to think. a space where i am alone with myself, no interruption, no one to talk to, no virtual world of the internet to be sucked in, no bills to worry about. much to my delight, i found a place in the entire universe where i can attain some form of peace, allow the wildest imagination to dance in my head, and just enjoy the gushing droplets pelting against me. i'd stand under the shower head letting the steamy hot water massage my shoulder, washing away all the stress and emotional stains. and as i watch them swirl down the drain, i prepare myself to face the world again.
it's funny how a confined space as such can provide solitary and freedom to oneself. freedom, as it seems, has nothing to do with the physical world. but really, i don't know why i'm here talking about this when i'm supposed to be writing The Essay. i should go take a shower now, and try brainstorming there. later!
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