Nearing of D-Day

they said, just do your best. nothing to be afraid of.
yah i'm sure.

if i do well, that's great. if i don't, then. too bad. life goes on.
if there's any consolation, it's that i don't have anything to lose.

but who am i kidding. i wish i could say that.
truth is, i have everything to lose. everything.

only god knows, that if and when things don't turn out well, i'd have to go back to square one, and figure out the reason to live. again. goddamnit, how many times do i have to go through this. maybe this time i should make things simpler, and live for chocolates. and cookies, and maybe ice cream. and ooooh cheesecakes. and all the asam laksa in the world. heee :P

on a lighter note, i wanna thank all my friends, who gave me all the support i need (and snacks - wendy and vu). i wanna thank everyone who truly believed in me, even though i don't have the tiniest ounce of confidence right now. :) but if i don't do well, i hope they wont shun away from me. :P