Cosmic and The Milky Way

the other day during my ER shift i was observing people when i'm not doing anything. patients come and go all the time; you get to see people from all walks of life, and it never ceases to intrigue me how similar yet still so different we can be from one another. and it suddenly dawned on me that there at so many times in our lives that we just can't stop certain things from happening. like a bullet that was shot, it will fly to that direction and nothing can deter it (well let's omit the complication of putting something in between to change its direction lah ok, am trying to make an analogy here), or.... like a star in the space that is destined to explode when its fuel (atoms) are all used up. yep that's more like it. there's no going back, no combining back the atoms to remake the same exact star, no reverse button to push. nada. it's a one-way street.

and say what you may, think what you want, there's no point being in denial or getting mad, or even trying to understand why it happened the way it did. i started off attempting to describe my thoughts and emotions, but i ended deleting everything. when things start to whirl out of control, and the inertia became its momentum, it will crash loud and hard into whatever that's in the way. that's just how it is. no questions asked. and when it crashes right into your bosom, everything will explode into bits and pieces that will never be intact the same way again. and when its only the debris of what's in your bosom are left, what's there left to say. impossible to put down in words, because sometimes i'm not even sure if i know exactly what had happened. guess this is what they mean by 'crash and burn'.

so i crashed and burned. left a hole in my heart. was thinking if i should use cement to fill it, but decided against it. after all, i still like my heart the way it is rather than one that's cold and hard.
it'll grow back... just gotta give it time.