Ecstatic

Helloz! Im back from the camp! Had great fun, 'twas an experience very new to me, and i have new things to ponder. But the greatest part of it is that I met so many new friends! Still in quite a rhapsodic mood right now. heh!

So lets see. Erm, we learned how to meditate, there was a yoga session, a personality test, talks that taught us ways to face life itself. It's not something new to me, but it serves as a reminder to me that knowing it is not enough; rather, what's more important is whether you really put it into use. I guess I loved this experience a lot cuz my principles in life fits very well with what they teach there. Though I still have doubts here and there about religion and stuff, it didnt cause me to enjoy it less; and I guess I can always learn more bout my doubts through reading and talking to people involved.

Unlike other camps I've been to, these people I met are very pleasant to be with (well most of them anyway), and they're all ardent and passionate, it's just good to be around people like these you know. Unlike camps that have a group of participants waiting to be inspired and motivated, I felt the people here are already inspired and motivated and they just need a push to go out there and inspire other people! Which made me realize, I dont wanna go around searching for inspiration or motivation anymore, in fact I wanna be the one who inspires others. I wanna help people, I wanna do smthg good, I wanna be someone, and I dont wanna just think bout it I wanna make it come true.

Sometimes I wonder, all this self-motivation talk that I typed out here, will it ever come true. What if none ever did and people around me use this and laugh at me in the future, calling me names and dissed me as one of the NATO (no action talk only) members. Am I not putting myself in danger by being so ambitious and writing in my blog? Maybe I should take my words back and just keep 'em to myself until I actually managed to achieve them. Safer, in the sense that my ego wont get bruised in case I dont achieve any of it. But then again. If that's the case, maybe i'm just looking for an excuse; an easier way out. Maybe I didnt really mean what I just said afterall, if I'd already thought that I wouldnt achieve those dreams.

Anyway, I've said it and I dont wanna take it back. Which only means, I couldn't afford to not attain any of those visions. If I really didnt, then I guess I'd just have to seek for a permanent hide-out place where no one knows me and I dont have to face anyone who'd remind me of the embarassment and my bruised ego. Maybe change my name and be someone else and live another life. But there's no point worrying bout it now, ay?! Just do what I can now is good enough, is it not.

Righto, will write again after I finish my lab report! ciao~!