i don't know if it's because i was depressed over my aunt's departure, or if it was PMS, although it's most likely a mixture of both, but i got into a dispute with roy over a baking pan. see it was really a petty little issue, yet because of his tone and usage of words, with his signature cold stare, the rage in me was instantly invoked. and because i cared so much, and what with all the above-mentioned reasons, i stupidly broke into tears. -_- absurdity! roy couldn't understand why i cried over something so trivial like that. i don't either, honestly. must be pms and the helplessness of losing a family member. :/
anyway, we talked it out that night itself and sorted everything out. :) in the midst of everything, i realized my idealism on how friendships should be and how friends should interact is what made me upset at times when the people i call friends didn't live up to those ideals. if it were some other tom dick and harry, i really couldn't care less. but in certain cases, if my friends reacted or behaved in ways that don't fit my ideals, i get affected really easily. now as i detach myself from everything and look at it in a bigger picture, it's absurd - my ideals, that is. i mean, this is not a problem solving methodology and people differ from one another so i can't possibly expect to use the same set of rules on everyone, can i? there will be exceptions, and when it happens, i should learn to deviate from my principles, my ideals and just accept them as they are. note to self: do not let self be too carried away with my ideals, wherever that came from. detachment sometimes is the best cure of all unnecessary heartaches, no?
really sorry to hear abt ur aunt fatty...i'll always be here if u need me anytime...
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