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Monday, September 28, 2009

Hello Morning

you know fall is here when the sun doesn't creep up as early as six in the morning anymore. the chilly air at half past six a.m. seeps through your pores and demands for attention that sends its 'signal' to the higher cognitive center which is then translated into random cravings--and it usually involves food. today, a good steaming cuppa hazelnut latte and a freshly baked double chocolate chip cookie the size of a saucer just out from the oven would be heavenly.

i'm a night person, but i'm also a morning person. i enjoy my short ride home, even if i would more-often-than-not be smacked in between a gigantic truck and some arrogant dangerous driver, and traffic is crawling at 10 to 20 mph. i like to see the sky light up, as if someone's up there painting it; and each day there's a different mishmash of colors you can never get bored looking at it. i don't think i've ever mentioned how much i cherish my morning jogs at the beach, breathing in the salty breeze, sweating, and listening to my heart thumping so hard. i'd much rather jog to the beach and back; i just don't have the stamina to do so yet. (but i will, it's just a matter of time.) i love how so many people go running and surfing in the morning. and every saturday there will be at least nine or ten teams of LA road runners practicing for their upcoming marathon, each team about 20 to 30 people running in pairs, each team running at their own speed. it inspires me so much to see them running effortlessly, someday i wanna be just like them. reckon it's much more fun to run with a group of people too. hmmm maybe i'll join one of the teams some time in the future.

on saturdays you get eye-candies too. scattered everywhere, you'll see groups of people of which there will be a guy who seemed to be the trainer, coaching a group of eight to ten rich middle-aged ladies, working them on various muscle-toning and strengthening exercises, cheering for them and yelling at them for speed and better postures. the coach is usually quite cute too, if i might add. :P i wonder how much they pay him for the sessions. then there are the couples jogging together; couples jogging and pushing their little ones in strollers; couples with dogs; cyclers in tight suits and pants; rollerbladers; skateboarders etc. and as you get closer to the pier, you'll see more tourists posing away for the instantaneous capture of memories. (speaking of which, i still have to edit my pictures i took the other day.)

morning, especially the wee hours just before sunrise, is my favorite time of the day. in many ways, i'm glad i work graveyard shift, because then instead of being stuck in traffic with millions of other people going to work in the morning, i get off work and get to enjoy the beautiful sunrise and morning, grab coffee and bagel at a cafe and read or study. i only wish i didn't have to sleep. then i'd have 24 hours to utilize and catch up on all the things i have yet to do.

there's never enough time to use, is there?

Mind Game

sensation. sometimes you don't, and can't, see it--but you feel it. does it mean it's unreal? is it just a figment of your imagination? probably.

but who's to say any figment of your imagination that doesn't occur to others is unreal. at the very least, it's real to you; no one can deny that. what occurs in your head is yours, and rightfully so.

it happened again; it's the second night in a row. the tingling sensation, not unlike the feet of a centipede touching ever so lightly on your skin. except perhaps it's only a hundredth, maybe even a thousandth of the aforementioned description that lingered on for hours, at the center of the forehead, where the hairline intersects with the forehead. maybe it's just paranoia. it could be just the tiny baby hair tickling the forehead. so the hand inevitably reached out to scratch it, hoping that persisting itch, however mild it was, would disappear.

if acoustic is to haptic, then this sensation, in an acoustic sense, would be something like a low humdrum that goes on and on at a very low frequency. it's there it's not really affecting you but it could be really annoying especially when there's no way of stopping it, since you can't tell where the sound originated from.

at some point, patience reached its threshold and the forehead was red from all the scratching. suddenly a horrifying thought came to mind. what if it was some kind of minuscule bug, unnoticeable by the naked eye, trying to burrow its way into the head. what if it was some brain-feasting bug?! the brain was convinced it would be punctured by the bug and became bug food. so it went on a defensive mode, trying all sorts of remedies like wiping alcohol on it, washing face with cleanser, and then with facial scrub, followed by a facial mask, all of which the brain has no idea if it would work but just did it anyway.

thankfully, it was but a scare. no prions-alike bugs, no burrowing into the scalp, no holes in brain. i deserve a night of peaceful sleep. cheers. :)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Have Fun at Work

someone said, "work is supposed to be fun! if you don't have fun at work, what's the point of going to work?!"

uhm. yah. unfortunately not everyone has the luxury of getting a fun job. and while it's partly about perspectives, whether you wanna see the glass half-full or half-empty, there are jobs out there that can't be considered as fun or exciting. i mean, somebody has to clean the toilet, collect trash, work in sewerage plants, right?! and to be fair, one can hardly call those jobs "fun", no matter how you see it. if everyone wants an easy fun job, then who's going to do the dirty (in the literal sense, not denigrating sense) work?! it will only lead to the failure in sustainability of a functional society.

yes, i know, everyone wants that fun element in their workplace, in the job that they do--and quite rightfully so--but a huge majority of the working class are working mainly because they need the paycheck to foot their bills. and when it comes to striving for a livelihood, the fun element can be forgone from the equation, can it not? it'd be awesome if it's there, but let's be pragmatic too. life is not always how you want it to be.

so while i dream of being the CEO of a multimillion company in a 7-star hotel somewhere in the desert (because i am needed there for a conference or meeting or whatever), sipping champagne watching tv enjoying a hot bubble bath while someone does my pedicure, i'm also making a mental note of all the to-do's for the rest of the week, making sure i get all the reading done for my two classes etc. maybe someday i'll get there--doing something i love without worrying about the financial aspects of things. but for now, the words i heard should only serve as an inspiration to keep pursuing my dreams, instead of invoking negative feelings towards my job.

in a few hours' time, i will be off to work. working graveyard is peaceful; i just pray for an easy night. and of course, i shall try to "have fun at work". ;)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Roommate #2's Birthday


It was a feast. It's not your typical Malaysian home-cooked meal (well, duh, they're from China not Malaysia), it's close enough to elicit the feeling of warmth that you get when sitting down with fam for a good meal. Dishes: tofu with century eggd and soy sauce, eggs with tomatoes, greens, glass noodles with pork and napa, steak (or was it pork ribs? i forgot), lobster-and-tofu soup, and eggplant. oh and watermelon too.


the best coffee sponge cake in town, i dare say. gotta ask where they got it.



she closed her eyes and genuinely made a wish.
and as she did so, i silently wished it will come true for her, whatever that wish was.
hmmm... she's only turning twenty-one! i can't recall my 21st bday. :(


 Roommate 2 and Roommate 3.
best of friends. although if you ask me, they looked more like a couple. :P


and this was everyone present on that evening. meet my roommates and their friends.
The girl next to me is Roommate 1; the other 2 girls are Roommate 2's friends from college.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Pictures from Bridal Shower

Okay so in conjunction with my post on Dhara's bridal shower, here are some pics i "stole" from sheena's facebook hehe. :P thank you sheena. :))) there are more pics but i decided it's too embarrassing to put them up here, so i'll just keep them for myself.
i like. :)) this, and along with the red carpet. and the Bollywood sign in the house. 
this is what i was talking about. very creative indeed eh! 
can you spot me? this is too easy. no prize even if you can. :P
Sssssssss. (inside joke). :D

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Sweet Sixteen

i wish i were blogging about my sweet sixteen. and how i'd throw the most lavish party in town, of which only the cool people could come; shop for a skanky dress thought highly of by people around me because some celebrity had something like that and i had to have one too; then find a pair of shoes that must absolutely go with it (the dress)--and i don't care if someone has to bring it in from Paris or Italy or wherever. and somewhere along the way i'll have to throw a fit and order a dozen of people around, make their lives a hellhole just to please me, because i'm the princess and because i should get what i want whenever i want.

oh wait. those are someone else's birthdays. on TV. i always find shows like that boring. it's always the same old story. show me something new!! ah well, i guess it's making money and that's all that matter.

but of course, the point of writing this post is not to bitch about reality tv shows. (pleaseeee. i have better things to do than that.) it's my little brother's birthday, and he just turned 16! yayyyyyy. :)))) i remember the days when i used to carry him around like my little trophy and showing off to my friends. days when i just couldn't stop holding him. days when i had to clean his shit (literally)... then he grew up little by little, and before i realize it he's already off to the Lion City, shaping his own future there.

there were gaps of years when i wasn't there for him as he was growing up. the 2 years in russia, and the past 3 years. now i'm still not there for him..geographically speaking, that is. still, there are plenty of memories to live by, and though we can't create new ones by spending time together, at least i can still keep in touch with him with the help of technology. and amongst all our memories, this particular one is my favorite. long long time ago when he was just six, or five (i forgot), i went out with friends and didn't get home till late. mom was mad at me for not getting home early, dad was overseas for work. so while mom was seething and contemplating my punishment (all this was related to me by mom later on), little brother went up to her and told her not to be mad. he said, maybe jie has something to discuss with friends and forgot bout time. awwwww.. it doesn't seem like much right now as i tell you this, but for a 5 or 6 year old to say that?! i think it was pretty amazing. was (and still am) absolutely touched and smitten. :)))

anyway. i just wanted to wish him Happy Birthday. :)  the boy is taking his O-level in a month's time or so. all the best!! you can do it! much love, all the way from U.S. of A.

Three Walls and a Sliding Door

the cursor on my word document is blinking once every 1.13 seconds, and has been at the same position for the longest time. i can't produce anything substantial. every sentence i wrote only lasted at most a few minutes before i hit 'backspace'. last year it took me weeks to write an entire essay that i was somewhat satisfied with. but after 360 days or so, the essay seemed almost like a joke to me. now that i read it, my application probably would've ended up in the reject pile if i'd have submitted it in.

at times like these, i need a place to think. a space where i am alone with myself, no interruption, no one to talk to, no virtual world of the internet to be sucked in, no bills to worry about. much to my delight, i found a place in the entire universe where i can attain some form of peace, allow the wildest imagination to dance in my head, and just enjoy the gushing droplets pelting against me. i'd stand under the shower head letting the steamy hot water massage my shoulder, washing away all the stress and emotional stains. and as i watch them swirl down the drain, i prepare myself to face the world again.

it's funny how a confined space as such can provide solitary and freedom to oneself. freedom, as it seems, has nothing to do with the physical world. but really, i don't know why i'm here talking about this when i'm supposed to be writing The Essay. i should go take a shower now, and try brainstorming there. later!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Cheating

walking along the pedestrian path, this little pigeon was sorta walking/jumping next to me for a good distance. hey there little friend, i thought i might have company today while i jogged. but when i picked up my pace, this little friend couldn't keep up, got frustrated and took off gleefully. it rested on the trash bin a few meters ahead, head askew, and looked back at me. as if to say, look who's faster now. that little thing! grrrr. that's not fair, that's cheating--i don't have wings!!! but as that thought strikes me, i realize how silly i must now sound. my pigeon friend probably wasn't even thinking of jogging with me to begin with, let alone cheating to be ahead of moi. it probably wasn't thinking at all. flying is its nature and so it's just doing it's 'thing'. :)

we, the homo sapiens, on the other hand, think too much. the brain, the higher cognitive ability, our conscience and self-awareness--all this is a boon, but also a curse at times. sometimes i just wanna live a simple life. in a fishing village, surrounded by sleets of ice, knee-deep snow, friendly polar bears. and maybe a couple of clumsy penguin friends. :) someday, perhaps.

Monday, September 07, 2009

35th Weekend

today is the last day of the 35th week of the year. another 17 weeks to go before 2009 comes to an end. how's it looking for you guys so far? if it hasn't turned out the way you wanted it to be, it's still not too late to get to your 2009 resolutions! mine is... alright. not going too well, but could be worse. so no complaints there.

it's been a relaxing weekend for me, and with labor day falling on a Monday, it's a 3-day weekend--always a good thing to not have to work on Mondays because i'd get Sunday blues (less frequent these days, i'm improving :P). doing cardio definitely helps regulate the hormones, and i'm not as restless after a run, even if it's a short one.

went jogging/walking with my camera at the crack of dawn, so technically i didn't sweat much. but the combination of the occasional jog of 100 meters and the therapeutic clicks of the camera gave me a high that i haven't felt for quite some time. the exam stress has added a few more wrinkles underneath my eyes, and i do resemble a panda sometimes, i'm not even kidding. :( anyhow, i shall post up some pictures once i'm done editing them. i only hope it won't take forever. hehe :P

it's also Roommate 2's birthday today. Roommate 3 cooked up a feast, and they invited 2 other friends over. all in all, i had a good time with them, though i couldn't catch what they were saying at times. their mandarin's a lil too fast for me, and they have their Northern colloquial language that i don't get. but it's all good, i'm amused and am learning. :) can't wait for the day when i can speak like that. :P so yeah i'll be putting up pictures of my roommates too. stay tuned!

oooh. forgot to mention. pras' ayam masak merah, eggplant, and kangkung belacan were sinfully delicious! and getting together with her, jessoms, and chean on saturday was a lot of fun. chean found a newly opened dessert shop in san dimas, they said they'll be having a cupcake-eating competition on their grand opening. a 10-pound cupcake! if i could make it, i'd go take pictures of the grand opening (more specifically the eating contest.. it'd be fun if they can't use hands to eat hehehe). no pictures again, because my smart-ass forgot to bring the camera. hung out with choon at night over a cuppa hot mocha. good times with good old friends. didn't get to meet up with more peeps, maybe next time. righto, till the next post!

Saturday, September 05, 2009

For Fun

i would say pictures speak louder than words...
except in this case, it's a picture of words that is really conveying the message. :D
anyhow, the statement stands true: women make the world go round.
so gentlemen, be nice to your women.
ooops... i mean - woman!! :P

Friday, September 04, 2009

Be A Child Again

He picks up the fallen slice of apple with a jubilant look in his eye, until his dad snatches it from him and chucks it away. Seeing the confused look on his face, I imagine he must be thinking, what the hell?! Gimme back my apple! Smiling, I walk away in a whiff, reminiscing my own childhood, and my little kid brother when he was little. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time even if it's for a short 5 minutes. Back then, nothing mattered and time stopped still. These days I'm always lagging behind and am playing catch with Time.

It's good to be out and taking pictures again. :) More stories with pictures to come.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

The Daily Grind

few days ago, a twitterpal wrote this: "Without peers we live uninspired, and descend into an abstract mediocrity." i felt like a thief who broke into a house whose light was suddenly turned on, and there i was, standing right in the middle of someone else's house, completely and utterly exposed. the words pierced right through me, forcing me to admit that i am and have been in this abstract (or not so abstract) mediocrity for the past 9 months. no kidding! i am in an information desert. circumstances beyond my control put me in this desert, but not doing anything about it is my fault, and i have only myself to blame. in any case, my latest revelation is this: if my job can't provide the stimulation i desperately need, i will look for my information oasis elsewhere.

on a lighter note, writing about roommates issues and the fox face (this may sound silly, but i feel rather trumphant for coming up with this nickname for that douchebag!:P) made me feel much calmer. as if the act of putting down my vexation in concrete form of words magically dissolve it away. and really, penning them in unlimited counts of words beats 140 characters in twitter or raving about it to friends anytime. i feel lighter now, i can fly. :)

and of late i've been reading my old old posts (the ones years ago). my reaction: eew, did i write that???! unbelievable. i wanna just tuck them away in my closet and never to discover them again. ever. so maybe it's time to hide this blog and create a new blog. hmm. yes, it's definitely time to change my blog layout and design. as for the contents, maybe i'll keep them around... just to keep track of how much i've grown (or not).

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Last August Post

people misunderstand me when i say i'm averse to being around people and take it as i just loathe hanging around people. let me clarify: i don't hate being around people, i only dislike having to contribute to small talks when i don't feel up for it. it's a drag, because i always find myself lack of things to say--things that interest them usually do not interest me. but these days when i'm stuck in this kinda situation, i try to conceal my facial expression--to not seem bored, because it might come off as condescending, and that's not nice. i really like them, they're good people in general. anyway, at first it seems like a pain to have to mask my true self, but of late it's become a challenge, a daily practice to monitor and my facial expressions and filter away critical emotions that might make me vulnerable. it's fun to think of each day as a practice ground to master a poker face; i need to be less of an open book. for it's a fact that, sometimes my eyes give off too much, even when i'm reticent. (and if nothing else, it'd be an entertainment to keep myself amused at work.)

it's august 31st. Malaysia's Independence Day. lately, news about Malaysia that made to the international platform are "Muslims banned to watch Black Eye Peas concert", and "Muslims protested with a cow head and demanded Hindu temple to be relocated". cow head? really? what a farce! at times it's hard to feel proud of it when the country seems to be going backwards. but today in the spirit of Merdeka, i shan't dive into the many issues that are plaguing the nation. (i'll save it for future posts-- and though discussions probably won't help much, it's better than keeping mum and pretending it's all well and dandy.)

here's two video clips i'd like to share. the first one is our national anthem, the second one a cynical portrayal of a "perfect" future when the society gave up their fundamental right to speak up. happy Merdeka!




here's more, if the second video interests you.