Sometimes, just sometimes
I felt I have a hidden artistic side of me
That has never been tapped
It's just sitting there, waiting to be used
To be honed, or something. anything.
But no. no such luck.
Let me out, Let me out
I want out
A lil' too late. too late
All is said and done
And all I can do is just smile
be thankful for all I've got
cuz that's what really matters at the end of the day
trapped in a box, yes
but how to break out from it
that's a question to ponder
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Beautiful Day
Stepped out of class, and I smelled the fresh-cut grass. Daisies blooming, and all the other flowers too that I can't name. Am not so much of a flower person, but I know how to appreciate the beauty of nature. :)
Around noon, I sat on the grass under a tree. Saw the sun peeking through the leaves, the rays spreading out, giving the leaves different shades of green - 'twas breathtaking. Closed my eyes and I can hear birds chirping, and the gentle breeze caressing my skin. Fell asleep for twenty minutes, woke up refreshed.
It was a beautiful day, that's all I can say. :)
Around noon, I sat on the grass under a tree. Saw the sun peeking through the leaves, the rays spreading out, giving the leaves different shades of green - 'twas breathtaking. Closed my eyes and I can hear birds chirping, and the gentle breeze caressing my skin. Fell asleep for twenty minutes, woke up refreshed.
It was a beautiful day, that's all I can say. :)
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Illusions of the Media
Sorry I haven't been writing lately. But here's an update. :) Last Thursday I attended a talk by one of our Communications Department professors Dr. Jane Ballinger at the Recreation Center in the Uni Village. 'Twas a very interesting topic; I've learnt some shocking truth... and if you may, rather horrifying too, and so I thought it'd be nice to share with y'all.
Nowadays people don't watch TV much anymore, and even when they do, the majority ignores the advertisements. So how do the advertising companies promote their clients' products? The solution lies in something called product placement, which is, really quite effective, especially on the vulnerable teenage minds in this era. Check this out.
Have you personally been influenced by it too, perhaps unconsciously? Or have you noticed it amongst your friends, how they talked bout what Beyonce is wearing in her newest music video or how Lindsay Lohan's new look is so fabulous, and that they'd kill to get their hands on "something like that" or even look like that?
Are you one of the "victims" too? Or are you one of those who realize all these yet don't mind being their prey?
Some may argue that there's nothing wrong with product placement because there will be products being used in the movies anyway, so why not make those companies sponsor the products (and the movies) since featuring their products is definitely gonna boost their sales? It's a win-win situation, no? Or, is there an ethical issue at stake? Because when you accept privileges from one party, all the competitors of the similar products have to do is offer you more, to get you to use their products instead! To the point where personal interests come into picture, i.e. bribery,... hence the ethical issue. Then what? Something for you to ponder. :)
Then there are the other stuff apart from product placement. Not sure if you guys have heard of fake news, but its a kinda PR approach to advertise for their products, and it's done through video news release (aka VNRs) - which is made by the product companies itself AND THEN distributing those VNRs to news stations for free! Which means, sometimes what you watch ain't really 'news' but just commercials that are made in the form of news!!! Here's an example of VNR, check it out if you have time. - http://www.prwatch.org/fakenews/vnr1
After reading these, you'd wonder, so when do we know what to believe and what not to believe? Which part of the news are true anymore? Even if it's world news, how are we supposed to know that they didn't edit parts of the video footage so that it'd be interpreted by the viewers the way they want them to? Believe it or not, perception is reality. And! It's one thing when companies send short clips of their products to news stations to be put as news, so that people would wanna buy them. But it's another when government do the same to spread their propaganda, i.e. to make you believe there is a war worth fighting or that certain group/association is bad and are terrorizing the world so we should all fight against them!! It's one thing to advertise in the movies cuz we're more or less aware of it, but to do it in the news - it's just impossible for us to know what's the truth anymore.
And then of course, there are the high tech adobe photoshop editing and all the makeup products in the world not to mention the perfumes, colognes... that can change almost any pictures of an ugly looking pimple popping pig into a beautiful soft-skinned tan swan.
"No Wonder Our Perception of Beauty is Distorted." How true. There's really no one out there in real life who will look perfect as they are in the magz. Those are just marketing gimmicks to make you wanna buy the newest/coolest make-up product (or anythg else) on the shelf. Strangely enough, we live in a world where majority actually don't mind succumbing to the commercial manipulation and being sucked into the world of consumerism.
"Thank God Our Perception of Beauty is Distorted." Good point! XD ahahahaaa. Ah well, we live in a contradictory world.
Nowadays people don't watch TV much anymore, and even when they do, the majority ignores the advertisements. So how do the advertising companies promote their clients' products? The solution lies in something called product placement, which is, really quite effective, especially on the vulnerable teenage minds in this era. Check this out.
Have you personally been influenced by it too, perhaps unconsciously? Or have you noticed it amongst your friends, how they talked bout what Beyonce is wearing in her newest music video or how Lindsay Lohan's new look is so fabulous, and that they'd kill to get their hands on "something like that" or even look like that?
Are you one of the "victims" too? Or are you one of those who realize all these yet don't mind being their prey?
Some may argue that there's nothing wrong with product placement because there will be products being used in the movies anyway, so why not make those companies sponsor the products (and the movies) since featuring their products is definitely gonna boost their sales? It's a win-win situation, no? Or, is there an ethical issue at stake? Because when you accept privileges from one party, all the competitors of the similar products have to do is offer you more, to get you to use their products instead! To the point where personal interests come into picture, i.e. bribery,... hence the ethical issue. Then what? Something for you to ponder. :)
Then there are the other stuff apart from product placement. Not sure if you guys have heard of fake news, but its a kinda PR approach to advertise for their products, and it's done through video news release (aka VNRs) - which is made by the product companies itself AND THEN distributing those VNRs to news stations for free! Which means, sometimes what you watch ain't really 'news' but just commercials that are made in the form of news!!! Here's an example of VNR, check it out if you have time. - http://www.prwatch.org/fakenews/vnr1
After reading these, you'd wonder, so when do we know what to believe and what not to believe? Which part of the news are true anymore? Even if it's world news, how are we supposed to know that they didn't edit parts of the video footage so that it'd be interpreted by the viewers the way they want them to? Believe it or not, perception is reality. And! It's one thing when companies send short clips of their products to news stations to be put as news, so that people would wanna buy them. But it's another when government do the same to spread their propaganda, i.e. to make you believe there is a war worth fighting or that certain group/association is bad and are terrorizing the world so we should all fight against them!! It's one thing to advertise in the movies cuz we're more or less aware of it, but to do it in the news - it's just impossible for us to know what's the truth anymore.
And then of course, there are the high tech adobe photoshop editing and all the makeup products in the world not to mention the perfumes, colognes... that can change almost any pictures of an ugly looking pimple popping pig into a beautiful soft-skinned tan swan.
"No Wonder Our Perception of Beauty is Distorted." How true. There's really no one out there in real life who will look perfect as they are in the magz. Those are just marketing gimmicks to make you wanna buy the newest/coolest make-up product (or anythg else) on the shelf. Strangely enough, we live in a world where majority actually don't mind succumbing to the commercial manipulation and being sucked into the world of consumerism.
"Thank God Our Perception of Beauty is Distorted." Good point! XD ahahahaaa. Ah well, we live in a contradictory world.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Wicked!
So last night we went to watch a musical at Pantages, a theater in LA. And there's only one word to describe it all - awesome! No, wait... I don't think there's any word that can explain how I felt that night. What a waste I didn't bring my cam (which was fixed already, thank goodness), but shall try to get some from those who brought a cam though! :)
Wicked is the prequel of The Wizard of Oz, and it tells the story of Elphaba the wicked witch and Glinda the Good Witch, and how the tin man, the scarecrow and the cowardly lion became who they are. I won't spoil it for you, in case you're gonna watch it - and if you have the chance you should definitely watch it. The plot's good, the cast absolutely fabulous, the music amazing, the lyrics too, and it's witty and humorous, props and effects were fantastic too! Oh and not to mention, the theater itself is very enchanting, huge too. And what more, after the play, we went to the back entrance to wait for the cast to come out, hoping to get their signatures!! Which we did! We got two - one from Glinda the Good Witch and another from Elphaba's sister. Couldn't wait for Elphaba and Fiyero cuz the bus was leaving soon... but oh well, couldn't complain. :)
I am so gonna get the CD and sing my heart out! :) You should tooo! ;)
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
History Class Upsets Me
We talked about industrial revolution, how machines helped us produce our goods in bulk and it changed our lives completely. Then the economy boost followed by major dip due to overproduction and underpaid workers who couldn't afford anything that were being produced. Economic depression, lack of resources, the desperation of new markets for their surplus of goods, the class stratification in the society that came along with the anger, dissatisfaction bout the situation and many more reasons motivated the country to promote imperialism.
It'sl a string of events that are all so interwoven, one thing leads to another and there's really no stopping of the whole dynamics. Capitalism, the invisible hand behind all things, according to Thomas Friedman is the reason why things turn out to be like that. The history class I'm taking this quarter is rather interesting, you get to see the whole big picture of everything. And you'll realize, economy is the basis of all political ideologies. And it's self-explanatory, really. Look at capitalism, socialism, or even communism, imperialism. Right now we're at the neo-imperialism stage. Show me one that does not have anything to do with economy and I'll show you a cow that doesn't shit.
It saddens me because the rich gets richer, poor gets poorer. And the disparity between the two classes is unlikely to diminish in the near future... or perhaps ever. It's not something we can do, I know, but I just can't help it. Guess I'm being too sentimental. I should really learn how to not let every single thing that happened affects me... especially those that I have no control over. Like the Virginia Tech massacre. Maybe I should be more detached. Care less and feel less..
It'sl a string of events that are all so interwoven, one thing leads to another and there's really no stopping of the whole dynamics. Capitalism, the invisible hand behind all things, according to Thomas Friedman is the reason why things turn out to be like that. The history class I'm taking this quarter is rather interesting, you get to see the whole big picture of everything. And you'll realize, economy is the basis of all political ideologies. And it's self-explanatory, really. Look at capitalism, socialism, or even communism, imperialism. Right now we're at the neo-imperialism stage. Show me one that does not have anything to do with economy and I'll show you a cow that doesn't shit.
It saddens me because the rich gets richer, poor gets poorer. And the disparity between the two classes is unlikely to diminish in the near future... or perhaps ever. It's not something we can do, I know, but I just can't help it. Guess I'm being too sentimental. I should really learn how to not let every single thing that happened affects me... especially those that I have no control over. Like the Virginia Tech massacre. Maybe I should be more detached. Care less and feel less..
Monday, April 16, 2007
WOW.
I remember sometime last year I wrote something about me turning 22, and how my mom got married at the age of 23, and how I'd still be at school when I'm 23.
23. Twenty-three. I'm saying it out loud right now, and as I hear my own voice bouncing off the wall, it feels... unreal. Really, it doesn't feel any different than being 20. or 21. I'm still a student living off my parents.
Yet somewhere out there, and not too far away from my vicinity, a 23 years-old young couple just got married, starting another milestone of their lives, building a life together. To that, my response, thoughts, feelings, can all be summarized into one word: WOW.
I'm still baffled. She was my classmate in high school, sat next to me, so very nice to talk to, but we've never become really really close, which I felt was a pity. She'd always have her lunch box and she'll be in her seat doing homework whilst her boyfriend will come over and sit next to her and just be with her. So sweet. :)
5 years after high school, we're all a bunch of 23s. She's finished her studies, working, had a few relationships and got married. I'm still... studying. And I'm still mentally unprepared to have any solid relationship. Or unwilling. Or perhaps haven't found the right one. Or maybe not the right timing. Or merely don't wanna commit. Or something.
Guess what I'm getting to is that, seeing my friends getting married, one by one, scares me a little. No, scratch that. A whole lot actually. Everyone's moving on...in general..not just the marriage life... which makes me, who's still on the same spot, feels like I'm going backwards. Especially when I still don't quite know where I'm headed to in the near future. Career wise, I mean.
But ah well. Here comes the part where I'm gonna console myself. No two beings are alike, and so everyone has a timeline of their own. My time will come, eventually. :) Meanwhile, let's just sit back, enjoy a cuppa hot tea and some Hershey's.
And get back to study. heh.
p.s.: Congrats dear Huey Lu, may your marriage life be merry and your love for each other never falters. Warmest wishes, from me. :)
23. Twenty-three. I'm saying it out loud right now, and as I hear my own voice bouncing off the wall, it feels... unreal. Really, it doesn't feel any different than being 20. or 21. I'm still a student living off my parents.
Yet somewhere out there, and not too far away from my vicinity, a 23 years-old young couple just got married, starting another milestone of their lives, building a life together. To that, my response, thoughts, feelings, can all be summarized into one word: WOW.
I'm still baffled. She was my classmate in high school, sat next to me, so very nice to talk to, but we've never become really really close, which I felt was a pity. She'd always have her lunch box and she'll be in her seat doing homework whilst her boyfriend will come over and sit next to her and just be with her. So sweet. :)
5 years after high school, we're all a bunch of 23s. She's finished her studies, working, had a few relationships and got married. I'm still... studying. And I'm still mentally unprepared to have any solid relationship. Or unwilling. Or perhaps haven't found the right one. Or maybe not the right timing. Or merely don't wanna commit. Or something.
Guess what I'm getting to is that, seeing my friends getting married, one by one, scares me a little. No, scratch that. A whole lot actually. Everyone's moving on...in general..not just the marriage life... which makes me, who's still on the same spot, feels like I'm going backwards. Especially when I still don't quite know where I'm headed to in the near future. Career wise, I mean.
But ah well. Here comes the part where I'm gonna console myself. No two beings are alike, and so everyone has a timeline of their own. My time will come, eventually. :) Meanwhile, let's just sit back, enjoy a cuppa hot tea and some Hershey's.
And get back to study. heh.
p.s.: Congrats dear Huey Lu, may your marriage life be merry and your love for each other never falters. Warmest wishes, from me. :)
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
I wanna...
- ... speak fluently in the languages I've already known, and on top of those, French, Spanish, and Russian.
- ... write relatively beautifully with my own 'style' - of which I have yet to discover.
- ... lose 25 pounds, just for fun.
- ... be good at at least 1 musical instrument.
- ... learn more about the financial world and how to get out of the rat race.
- ... earn enough to be able to support my lil' brother to achieve his dreams, and let my parents live comfortably ever after.
- ... spend my spare time with my grandmas and family, get to know more of them before it's too late.
- ... keep in touch with all my friends whom I've been close to at any point in my life - which includes elementary, high school friends, taiwan study tour friends, Kursk friends, dhamma camp friends and the rest whom I met randomly yet was able to click so well.
- ... write letters to those I used to write letters to.
- ... learn how to brew good coffee.
- ... learn how to make asam laksa, bubur chacha, roti canai (from scratch) and all the chinese new year cookies.
- ... learn more new languages, and still remember how to speak and write well in all the languages I've learnt.
- ... start a chinese blog.
- ... play tennis like a pro, increase my red blood cell count till I'm eligible to donate blood.
- ... go to China or Darfur to volunteer, preferrably working with kids, healthy or sick. Or anywhere else in the world that needs help.
- ... put a smile on a person's face every day.
- ... write a book by the age of 30, a book that is publishable and sellable, that is.
- ... go on Peaceboat and/or work for PeaceCorp (but I think I can't cuz I'm not a US citizen).
- ... have a small and loving family with 3 or less kids, and be a good mother. Or if I'm not married I wanna adopt many many kids.
- ... try all the extreme sports and experience everything that I've never done before, and keep a record of all my 'first-time's.
But if you come up to me and ask me, so what do you want to do in life? - I still can't give you a definite answer, or I'd tell you another thing a month later.
Yes I wanna do many things. Yet because I want too many things I'd end up achieving nothing. Or, perhaps all those can be done, I just need more time. :)
But right now, I'm seeking to fill the emptiness in me. And from there, we'll see how it goes...
Saturday, April 07, 2007
I'm good I'm good
Feeling isolated amongst laughters and jokes and people, the more people I meet the more I just wanna be alone. The more I smile and laugh and say silly nonsensical things or on auto-pilot carrying out meaningless just-so-to-fill-the-silence-in-the-air talk, the more I feel like crying. The more I try to be bubbly and sociable, the more I feel choked. Don't know what's going on, I'm avoiding the issue altogether by keeping myself busy with schoolwork and friends and activities.
Everyone feels this way every now and then huh. It's one of those days again. Am gonna go sweat it out, and spend some time alone. And pray that it'll all go away soon. :)
Meanwhile, I will smile my brightest smile and answer this when you ask "How are you?" - I'm good, I'm good.
Make believe, I told you right.
Everyone feels this way every now and then huh. It's one of those days again. Am gonna go sweat it out, and spend some time alone. And pray that it'll all go away soon. :)
Meanwhile, I will smile my brightest smile and answer this when you ask "How are you?" - I'm good, I'm good.
Make believe, I told you right.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Who To Be
This Is Your Life
yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
yesterday is a promise that you've broken
don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
this is your life and today is all you've got now
yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
don't close your eyes
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose
yesterday is a kid in the corner
yesterday is dead and over
yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
yesterday is a promise that you've broken
don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
this is your life and today is all you've got now
yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
don't close your eyes
this is your life, are you who you want to be
this is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
when the world was younger and you had everything to lose
yesterday is a kid in the corner
yesterday is dead and over
It's a song - Switchfoot's "This is your life". I sit in front of my laptop, pondering over the question "are you who you want to be". Uhh, no I guess? I mean, for someone who isn't sure who she wants to be, I don't think I'm even eligible to answer that question.
V said, you don't find direction, you pick one. Guess he's right, but I have so many choices at hand, everything seems feasible, making it harder that it already is to choose.
Oh don't get me wrong. Am not brooding over not knowing what to do, but merely reflecting how things are for me now. I'm still a lost kid. Uh okay, maybe not a 'kid' anymore, but still lost nonetheless. But I am doing something about it. And I intend to get out of this rut.
I miss my friends. Everyone, those in Kursk, UK, Aussie, KL, etc etc. Missed talking to them, and all the good old times.
And I miss home. Okay no, I don't really. I just missed the peeps.
Good day everyone! :)
V said, you don't find direction, you pick one. Guess he's right, but I have so many choices at hand, everything seems feasible, making it harder that it already is to choose.
Oh don't get me wrong. Am not brooding over not knowing what to do, but merely reflecting how things are for me now. I'm still a lost kid. Uh okay, maybe not a 'kid' anymore, but still lost nonetheless. But I am doing something about it. And I intend to get out of this rut.
I miss my friends. Everyone, those in Kursk, UK, Aussie, KL, etc etc. Missed talking to them, and all the good old times.
And I miss home. Okay no, I don't really. I just missed the peeps.
Good day everyone! :)
Sunday, April 01, 2007
New York Part 8 (Last)
So we tried to extend our stay there the next morning - called the airline and see if we can postpone our flight. Couldn't make it, so we had to rush to the airport, hence ended up taking a cab. Above pic: Sad souls leaving NYC.
Chean's lil treat at Dallas Fort Worth Airport :) It's m&m's yogurt. Looks good ain't it?! :)
Alas! Home sweet home - at Ontario Airport! We made it!!!! Traveled together just the two of us most of the time!! Cheers, partner!
Remember in one of the previous posts I mentioned we went to Ben Ash to have lunch and we had this supermungous portion of baked ziti parmigiana and the best marble cheese cake?! The above pic is on the menu, teaching you how to speak Deli! So coool. I never knew there's actually a Deli language!! But they look like Hebrew to me! Wow wow wow... whaddaya know! Every day I learn something new, and every day this very fact never fail to amaze me. :)End of New York adventures. Love that place, I don't think I can emphasize more on that. Will definitely be back! Jun *cough* waiting for you *cough* =P
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