Honesty

So did I mentioned I broke a 10-mL volumetric flask (pic above) some time ago? That was not a good day.. not good at all. I needed 10 volumetric flasks for a particular experiment. So I washed and rinsed with distilled water and lined them up neatly (like soldiers standing in line) next to the sink. I have borderline OCD, you see. But then, suddenly, *ping piang* one of them decided to commit suicide and jumped off the cliff. The sink was really deep... say, around 50cm deep, and there goes my volumetric flask's fragile 'lifespan'. *horror* o.O

Anyway, I digressed. I knew I had to pay for the breakage, but I have no idea how much. Friends were telling me ways of how to not pay for it and how to cover it up. But I can't live with myself for lying so I went to report to the stockroom lady in-charge of all the these, and guess what, she told me I had to pay $15.70!!! What?? I gaped and almost swallowed my own tongue when I finally realized my mouth's a big O. I thought it was only a couple of bucks. But no! Of all the things I can break, I have to choose the expensive one to break!! And I shouldnt even report it in the first place! But no! I had to be so 'me' and go report it. So much for being honest! -_-

So in the end, I paid for the bloody volumetric flask. I could've erased that record from my check-out card of lab equipments so many times, cuz it's written in pencil and she won't remember anyway cuz there're just too many ppl checking in and out lab equipments. But I was too chickenshit to do so. Aahhh well, it's still a good thing i guess. I paid 15.70 for good nights' sleep and a peace of mind.

Some of you guys would probably think I'm dumb for paying something I can get away from, but at least my conscience is clear. Be it due to my cowardice or my integrity, I didn't cheat in the end. And you know what? The world needs more people like me. Seriously. :P

How are we supposed to know?

Ah yes, I haven't been updating bout my life here recently eh. Sorry bout that. It's just that I have nothing in particular I wanna talk about. Or, stuff that I wanna talk about aint appropriate to talk about here. At least not now.

Lately I've been thinking. You know how when we were young we were asked, "So what do you wanna be when you grow up?" And the kids seem to never have trouble finding answers. And you might just think, ahh well they're still young they dont really know what they want. On the contrary, I marvel at the fact that they can tell you in a split second what they want to be. It comes out so naturally, so smoothly, as if they've always known it all along. I mean, who's to say that's not what they really want or they don't really know exactly what they're talking about?? Just because they're younger and less exposed to the world doesnt give us the right to dismiss their desires and ability to make a decision right?!

But then, as we grow older, we're exposed to different things, and very often we got lost in a myriad of choices, so abundant that we because unclear of what we really want. Or for certain reasons, we forgot how to listen to our heart's desires anymore. What are we to do then? How are we supposed to know what we REALLY want? How can we be sure of it? How do we search for answers and be certain that's the right one?

I know these questions cant really be answered, cuz there are no definite answers to them. Chean told me, "You dont question what you want. you just WANT. and it doesnt need a logical explanation or justification. tht's why it's called desires." She has a point. I know I dont wanna waste my whole life thinking what I really want when I can do so much more. But in spite of wanting to know what I really want, I still dont know what I want! Does it make any sense?

Hahah. I find the previous sentence hilarious. And dumb. Ironic. I dont wanna talk to people cuz I know I'll be influenced in making my decision. This time I've gotta do it by myself, for myself. I just gotta find a way to do so...

Pictures from my phone

Cravings

I'm mugging for my midterms on tuesday and wednesday and i cant remember when was the last time i sat on the chair for so many hours in one go that i reckon my ass is gonna grow roots to the chair and my eyes are gonna pop out any minute now. *pop* O_o

Right now i have a sudden crave of asam laksa. How?! Let's just look at pictures and droool...

I think the first pic looked more appetizing (pics stolen from other ppl's sites).

Plans for holiday - try cooking asam laksa! heh. i want i want i want.!!!

A Book, A Story, A Life Lesson

It's been an amazing week despite all the workload that's been piling up and the up-coming 2 midterms next week. God knows how Im gonna cover everything that's been taught and excel in these exams, but for now, since its the beginning of the weekend, I shall allow myself some time-out and keep this dry and empty blog alive. =)

If you guys haven't watched Heaven and Earth (1993), do try to get the movie. It's about the life story of this Vietnamese girl, Le Ly, and how she went through the horrendous suffering, trauma and torture during the Vietnam war between the Việt Cộng and the communist forces in the North. Her life took a turn when she met this US soldier, one of the 'enemies' who killed her brother who joined the communist forces, one whom she herself once fought against to protect her homeland, one who'd caused so much suffering to her and her people.

War. Made us question ourselves, or at least I did, why? For whose benefits? And now after almost half a century, there is still war going on in the Middle East. Blood bled for a cause no one is certain of. Does terrorism really only exist in the Middle East? When people say oh we should all join forces to fight against terrorism, why do we more often than not relate that statement to fight against Islam? And while people are crying, mourning for their dead loved ones, some of us are complaining about getting fat (that's me - felt so guilty bout it), or ranting about dont know what to eat for dinner, or having no money to buy the newest Gucci bag. When we look at the media that shows us people who were blasted into pieces, events that are happening every day in some parts of the world right now as you're reading this, how many of us really felt anything in our hearts? Even if we do, how many of us can really understand how it's like? How many of us actually cared?

Truth is, most people dont wanna think about it. It's too cruel, too upset to think about. Why torture ourselves with this kinda big worldly issues when we have other things to worry about? Those aren't happening to us or even happenning anywhere near us, ay. So we rather keep ourselves occupied with who's the next top model winner or who's the next american idol. Whether Nicole Richie is so skinny she can be blown away by a gust of wind. Whether Paris Hilton's new shoes can be ordered online. Whether Britney Spears is ever gonna get her nice body back, or if Reese and Ryan are gonna get back together.

I'm not condemning those who cared about those stuff. I'm not gonna make comments suchs as 'ohmygod, how shallow these people are' or 'how ignorant'. For all we know, those events can be just as real to them as those dying soldiers and war victims are to their family members. And it all boils down to our reality - how each and every one of us perceive reality. Some people are oblivious about the things going on in other parts of the world because they dont read or come across them. Some just cant handle the fact that there are so much malice, inhumanity, vengefulness in this world, and the thought of it gripped them with fear, hence they turn to escapism.

I had the opportunity to watch this movie during the International Education Week 2006, which was celebrated in my uni from November 14 till 16, and I had the chance to meet Le Ly, the author of the book Heaven and Earth too. A wonderful lady, she's working with the Peaceboat, and some global village project or something of that sort (i cant remember). After watching the movie, after listening to her talk, I felt I'm such a lucky person to be here, to be me, regardless of how blurcase I can be, how lost I am sometimes, how inferior I sometimes feel. And if you're reading this right now, you're just as lucky as I am, if not more. We all have a great life, and we all have something to contribute and offer, and the best part is we have nothing to lose. So why not?

Scribble Scrabble

Do you know that if you stare into the space long enough, you'd actually see things that will most likely reflect what's in your innermost self or subconscious mind? Try it. Oh wait, there's a word for it. Ahhh yes, Daydreaming.

Right now, in the midst of mugging for a Genetics Midterm, I muse about how those friggin' scientists found out such abundant bout what's going on in our tiny little cells. Dont they have better things to do, like spend time with their kids or nurture their plants in the garden. Or something. Do you know we have 3 billion base pairs in our genome, and 2 copies of genomes, which gives us 6 billion base pairs, of which comprised of purines (namely adenines and guanines) and pyrimidines (cytosines, thymines, uracils) only? And that's it! 5 of these block letters in certain sequences make you and I different. How cool is that. But then, its not so cool anymore when I have to pump in so much info into my tiny tiny brain in such a short time.

Number of cute guys seen in campus of late - nil. Number of annoying people appearing seem to increase exponentially. Well okay, I'm exaggerating. But one has to exaggerate sometimes to spice things up. You know, to make life a tad bit more dramatic. Just for the fun of it. heh. :P Dull and mundane life will just bore everyone to death. So will a dull and monotonous blog.

What? What what? What what what? No, I have, like you, absolutely no idea what I wanna say. But one does not always have to know what one wants? Do they? Perhaps readers could draw up a conclusion from this incoherent post.

Are you as confused as dazed as me now? =) Have a nice day, dear all.

Jeanie in Town

Mr. Scarecrow with the Powderpuff Girls. ;P
Clockwise from right: Me, Jeanie, Jessoms, Chean.

Heyyy Brandon! You're supposed to take pretty pictures of us!
Not our gluttony look! =P How embarassing..~

 

Cute

Awwww... can anything be cuter than this????

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Maybe?!!! hehe... that's me on the left! Lazy Sunday.. :P

Pumpkins Bumpkins!

For those of you who don't frequent my friends' blogs, these are the very postcard-ish photos they took during the Pumpkin Fair. Very nicely taken pictures! Enjoy!





Brandon's photos taken from his blog. Hope you don't mind Brandon! =) Aaaaahhhhh.. nothing as 'orange' as a sea of pumpkins eh? (okayy apart from maybe a sea full of oranges XD)! 

Happy Halloween!

It's Halloween! It's not big in Msia so it's kinda fascinating to see people walking around in campus dressing as a butterfly, fairy, baseball player, corpse bride, dunno-what-you-call-those-in-superminiskirts-trying-to-act-cute (cute sluts?) etc. etc. But it's fun! To see people dress up in costumes. And they had a pumpkin carving contest in the International Center too. =) I didnt go though. Went to have lunch instead.

But because it's a weekday, and we all have classes the next day, no one partied that night. We went to Kellogg West for dinner though, courtesy of the International Center. Not because it's Halloween though; it's because Datuk Seri Sharizat came to visit her daughter who's studying in CPP, and so she wanted to meet the rest of the msians as well. =) How sweet! Pictures from Chean's camera and Brandon's will be up next!